Good day. I’d rather keep quiet about my name. I m

Good day. I’d rather keep quiet about my name. I met my current boyfriend when i was in high school. We were best friends back then even after we finished high school which was 2017.
Fast forward to 2019, we started dating. He didn’t woo me, or sweet talk me into it. We just became an item. I don’t know about him though, but I did it mainly because I felt like hence we’ve known each other for years, and I obviously knew everything about him, we could be in a relationship.
Few months after we officially started dating he moved to Lagos, and I remained at Port Harcourt. His reason for going there was that he was in search of greener pastures. We made promises to be faithful to each other. And I was faithful, honestly, throughout his stay there.
Fast forward to this January, he finally came back, because he didn’t succeed at Lagos. But he didn’t come back to where his family lives which was a stone throw away from mine. He stayed somewhere in portharcout with his elder brother. The problem now is that, I noticed that somethings had changed about him, but most times I feel like these things were there before and I just didn’t pay attention. But I noticed he keeps things to himself alot, and I don’t like it because I’m very much open to him. Most times when I ask him stuffs he lies, and I hate them. Recently, he told me he wanted to join this yahoo stuffs, and I obviously declined giving him reasons why he shouldn’t , but he wasn’t taking any of it. So I threatened to break up with him if he joins them, I was expecting him to have a change of heart, but he told me he’d think about it to make his choice and decide if I was worth it.
Now this second guy, I met him in november, his married sister is my neighbour that I respect alot. This guy is responsible, he doesn’t act childish unlike me. Whenever we discuss it is always meaningful. He talks alot about my future, things I could become, he lifts my spirit into becoming more than I am now. The first week we met, he made his intentions known to me. And I clearly told him then that I had a boyfriend. But he still stayed since then. This guy is 27, my current boyfriend is 22, and I am 20. But since my boyfriend travelled in 2019, I’ve met different guys, non of them had ever gotten my attention like this guy had. So one-day at his apartment this January after my boyfriend was bck from Lagos, I had sex with this guy, that was my first time of cheating. Now, after that, I felt no remorse. Which picked my attention.
Now I’m confused about these two guys.
1. The only stuffs I discuss with my current boyfriend, is just meaningless talks. We don’t talk serious things. Unlike this second guy, we talk important stuffs, I learn from him, he learns from me. We talk about development plans.
2. My current boyfriend is all concerned about money, money, money, he wants bigger money not the little one he’s getting. Unlike this guy, he’s concerned about money too, but not as much as my guy does. He has a legit online business. He’s doing well for himself.
3. Sex with my boyfriend is amazing unlike this second guy, sex with him sucked, he has a very tiny member.
5. My boyfriend’s physical appearance is really cute. He looks well unlike this guy, he’s as tall as me though, but he has a very lean, body very very lean, I’m not proud of it.
6. I still love my boyfriend but with everything that has happened with us since he came back, it’s now clear to me that this relationship is uncertain.
7. The both of them are really loving.
8. I don’t wanna leave the relationship, because I’m scared. I don’t even know why I’m scared, but I’m scared. He’s taking the wrong turn, I wanna be there for him to help him out,
I don’t know what to do. But I don’t know if I can do this. Because just this once, I wanna act selfish and think about myself.
I don’t wanna lose either, and I don’t wanna double date. Who do I choose?