Am 28yrs old single mum of one my baby daddy left me seven years ago before I gave birth .as at 2019 he has being trying to talk to me but I refuse talking to him because I felt he has moved on with his life 2020 I tried talking to him to find out his reasons behind his coming back or him him trying to reach me . although I meet this guy who try to show me the root of love again he has no job is devoice with three kids I gave him a chance we started dating for a year now . hoping that one day God will give him a job but because of the conversation have being having with my baby dad I found out that am being lose. He ask me to give our selves a chance to make things better for the sake of our daughter I thought about it .but the question I keep asking myself what about this guy with three kids .what is the way forward? Am I taking the right decision? U no along the line as I was with this guy with three kids one one day a beat me up because I was looking for money to meet up with some needs and an old frnd of my which we dated bfor long ago send me the money just to help me during my bad times .I almost let go of the relationship he pleaded I have to let go. My baby dad send a message to my Facebook that we should go our separate ways I told my mum about it .mum call him he pour insult on her and even every members of my family and he stop talking to me until my daughters birthday she ask of her dad and said (mumy why is daddy not calling me again )I felt bad and decide to end my anger and call him to try and talk to the daughter even if he doesn’t want me . since then he started talking to me and trying to make things up .am confused what should I do ?
Anonymous
Hello relationship and marriage are different things,if the guy with three kids can beat you up then that’s a very bad signal,try and find out why he is divorced and if you and your child can cope with him and his kids and also his no job.
Then your baby dad left maybe he was not ready when you took in for him to come back I think he is more matured. Please take note if he is coming back because of his child I think that’s not enough he should also have love and feelings for you.
Anonymous
That relationship seem to be unhealthy and toxic and the man is clearly not a provider.
He has 3 kids and no job for over a year that you have been with him and he raised his hand in you.
Let me guess, you give him money and provide for his family too?
Note that you are mirror to your daughter and she is watching and learning from you.
What do you think she is learning watching you be with a man that is jobless and raise his hand to hit a woman? How safe is your daughter with this man?
For now, consider your 7 year own daughter when making decisions because it shapes and moulds her way of thinking.
You should have a healthy relation with your baby daddy for the sake of your daughter but not necessarily a romantic relationship.
The both of you should have take a moment and have a private, honest and matured conversation about your future together and see where it leads.
Do not rush into anything, listen to your intuition and follow it no matter how difficult the decision you take is, know that the future is bright and is pregnant, it will get better if you persevere.